Feb. 8th, 2015

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Tomorrow Will has car stuff to do - inspection and oil change. Then we'll hit some thrift stores because my weight loss is at a point where I can no longer ignore my need for new clothes that fit. Then a trip to the grocery store for lunches this week. Then hopefully swinging by the vet to pick up Dianakitty's food as well (she has some dry food at the house but needs the healthy stuff too)

Tuesday is left blank, and I figure that'll be the day I refocus on commission work. One of the hardest things to do when depression is rough is draw... but it needs to be done, and setting goals is good. I WILL manage, and I've asked Will to help me keep on track.

Wednesday is more work, and also going to try to set apart at least a couple of hours each day this week for chores. So much stuff I'm behind on and the house needs to be whipped into shape.

Thursday is an early morning to go get blood drawn and pee in a cup. Therapy that afternoon, I should write down everything I need to catch her up on - SO MUCH, OMFG.

Friday Will leaves to go LARPing and I set a massage appointment up for myself. Paul was able to help with my back problems while I was in Houston but I need to keep up taking care of that area before I screw it up again. Friday night I might head to a friends' place for karaoke and chilling out.

Saturday is Valentine's and I have no plans - not sure I really want any, either. Paul's not in town, Will's off LARPing. Same deal as last year. So I might just do a repeat of last year... chill out at home. Treat myself to tasty food. Take a bath. Watch fun things on TV, or play video games. Just give myself a fun date night without needing either of the boys' help. I'll miss them both, yes, but romance with them can happen later.

Next week will be much of the same. Commission work, chores/whipping the house into shape, self-care. I also have my actual VA appointment (whereas this week is just labs)... so much to discuss. Permanent-ish birth control options, pain management options, anxiety stuff, inflammation issues.

The biggest issue I'm worried about these next two weeks is headspace and motivation. I know I'm going to be depressed, I know I'm going to be feeling very negative and apathetic. Forcing and fighting my way out of that kind of mental place is... not easy. And I'll be asking certain people to help me, people who understand what works with me and what does the trick.

I'll be okay. I'll keep myself busy, productive. I'll give myself goals. I'll be awesome.


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