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The trip was exhausting. I don't sleep well in cars, even with a full large van seat to myself (hips were very cranky)... we left Friday evening and drove through the night. Got to Will's cousin's place in Florida that morning and stayed the day, resting up. Went to bed around 8, happily, as I was ready to sleep forever. Which was helpful because we needed to get up at 2am. Headed out at 3, drove the rest of the way.

So, we're here. Hotel wasn't able to do check-ins yet but we still got our wristband things with our info on it. After we did as much as we could with check-in we headed to Magic Kingdom via the monorail. Wandered around a bit but mostly headed straight to have lunch. Very crowded, but a fun area. Did not spend much time in the sun but I'm already a bit pink. Next time, sunblock. No question.

Did a tiny bit of shopping in souvenir places. A few pins grabbed my attention but otherwise I've not found anything I MUUUUST have (though we're keeping an eye out for shot glasses)

We were scheduled for a massage around 3 so we got to do that. It was lovely - a bit painful but I still managed to drift off to sleep once or twice. I'd blame it on the general exhaustion but I've done this before.

Headed back to the hotel to check in and get our luggage upstairs. Some issues here and there with that but it's all good now. Got the laptop set up with the wifi and we're resting until it's time to head towards our dinner reservations.

Very very thankful for Ryan letting me borrow his camera, I've already taken way too many pictures. :D

We have a schedule all week but I'm not overly concerned with it. We'll have fun no matter what we're doing.

(Note: cramping like all hell, very moody and hormonal, running through a fucking checklist of shark week related health problems... still haven't started. Thanks, uterus)
shinga: (Default)
Yesterday was rough. Had the awful 3-5AM bullshit and the mild panic attack kind of just stuck with me all day. I know I was tired and hormonal and that was probably why I couldn't quite shake it.

Had the massage in the morning, which helped a lot. Ate up a bit more of my morning than expected so I didn't have much time to do anything productive at home before we were off to therapy.

Therapy... was rough. I held back a lot, and in the moment it didn't seem that bad. But we talked about the bad early morning panic attack and what led to it and why it happened. Seeking an understanding of the inner workings of my bullshit is frustrating. I left drained and exhausted and uncomfortable with the things I have to start facing now. I spent the rest of that day just... off. Luckily the exhaustion and pain distracted from the hum of panic and anxiety, so I was able to more or less just emotionally shut down until it went away.

It wasn't until that evening that it finally calmed the hell down. I don't know how much anyone really noticed. A couple of friends did ask if I was okay. I kept the answers short and not dishonest but also not completely true either (ie "I'm okay, just in a lot of pain/not feeling well/etc"... all very true and contributing to the suck, but not the core issue)

Glad I went out. Glad I finally eventually calmed down. Went home earlier than usual and more sober than usual. Will was already home and packing, and seemed in a good mood (which is a welcome change from the stress of the last couple of weeks... I think the act of packing makes the vacation seem more tangible and close rather than a potentially stressful idea)... he was chatty and I was tired but glad to have some stress-free time with him. Once he finished I was able to get to sleep pretty easily - woke up a lot during the night but never for long.

Today things are better. I still have that back-of-my-mind hum of panic but that might also just be the weird physical shit too (feeling a bit under the weather... shark week needs to hurry and start, I'd HATE to start that shit on the road) I was able to pack up most everything I'll need next week. To-do list is getting shorter and I feel like I can relax a little bit.

Tomorrow Will's parents and sister should be here sometime in the afternoon. Will's gonna try to get off work a bit early and we'll all pack up and leave as quickly as possible.

I'll have my laptop and phone with me during the week and I'll probably update semi-regularly with pictures and any interesting stories.
shinga: (Default)
Last night was rough. We went to hang out with my dad and his girlfriend Jen. It was a lovely evening. We sipped on Bloody Marys and talked about lots of things and had some good laughs. It really was a pleasant evening. BUT Jen lives on a second floor apartment. Not a huge deal, I can do stairs. But afterwards we were swinging by our friend Ryan's place so I could borrow his camera for Disneyworld. He's also in a second floor apartment, with two sets of stairs. Ergh. We stayed for a few minutes to chat and I could tell by how hot and shaky I was that the pain was worse than I was registering. We headed home and Will mentioned he had some painkillers I could try.

We get home, and Will can't find the painkillers. Luckily it's semi-late so I'm able to simply pass the fuck out in spite of the pain. I got to sleep fairly easily, even. But around 3:30 my cat decided she was lonely and I ended up wide awake and the pain was a bit overwhelming... along with cramps and hormonal emotional confusion. It wasn't a particularly fun couple of hours. Couldn't get back to sleep until after 5.

Up again at 7:15, alarm set to go off at 7:30. No point in more sleep. Up now, coffee. I'm less emotionally chaotic than I was a few hours ago.

If my uterus-related experience tells me anything, I'll DEFINITELY be bleeding while at Disney, and PROBABLY start either on the road there or reeeeally close to it. This is troubling and annoying but so long as Midol is with me I shall fear no evil. :P

I'm getting nervous. Both Will and I are short on money and we're both stressed about it. MOST of the stuff at Disney is pre-paid for us which is fantastic but there's still stuff we'll need to handle on our own. Knowing his family they'll step up and offer to help if they have the means... and hell I'm used to sucking up my pride and accepting financial help but Will's not as used to it and it might be fairly upsetting. We're hoping there's a check he can cash before we leave on Friday that'll help a lot, so... fingers crossed there.

Today is massage I specifically scheduled to help the stress of this week. Then there's therapy (my last appointment until the second week of July), then hanging out with friends and probably drinking (though I'll try not to get TOO drunk as I have a lot to do tomorrow too)

I'm excited, I'm looking forward to this trip, and I'm also looking forward to being home and July hitting and us being slightly less tense and stressed about money.

One day at a time.
shinga: (Default)
Tuesday:

-Shower and condition/treat hair
-Work on hair
-Laundry
-Dishes
-Gather clothing - edit unfinished, can be done later though
-Finish two commissions
-Hang with dad and his girlfriend

Wednesday:

-Massage in the morning
-Shave - was not time, can be done Thursday
-Work on hair
-Therapy
-Commissions if there's time - definitely didn't have time
-Gather clothing, begin packing - ran out of time, not too concerned, packing is quick
-See friends, possibly get drunk - saw friends, did not get drunk, but still enjoyed myself and was able to kick anxiety in the face for a few hours

Thursday:

-Pack
-Do things to hair, ideally almost finished
-Prep the cat (food, water, any instructions for roommate)
-Dye hopefully?? - definitely not time for this, probably won't dye until I get home
-Commissions? Might not be time, that's okay - HAHAHAHAHA where is my time even going
-Comics?? Actually any day I could work on this would be good - well shit

Friday:

-Clean up the house enough that I'm not embarrassed for Will's parents and sister to see it
-Finish packing last-minute things for the car ride
-Get in said car on the way to ADVENTURE!
shinga: (Default)
Making Disney plans. I've even agreed to a couple of roller coasters - I've never been on one. Mostly I'm excited about just wandering around, I'm excited about all the different food and the animals and the characters and art. I'm very blessed to have been accepted so readily and unquestionably by Will's family enough for them to freaking take me to Disneyworld. Hell even when the possibility of Will not being able to go came up they still insisted I go anyway. Luckily Will's gonna be there though, and I'm glad.

I'm nervous. Got a lot to do this week, both in preparation and just because weeks get busy and it happens.

Either today, tomorrow, or Thursday I NEED to go shopping. I need clothes. I have a few giftcards that have been sitting around waiting to be used, so I need to just go do that. Tonight my hair is worked on (almost done????? So excited), tomorrow Will and I go to hang with my dad and his girlfriend followed by swinging by a friend's place to borrow a camera for Disney, Wednesday I have a massage in the morning and therapy in the afternoon and going out to see friends in the evening, Thursday is empty enough I think but I'll probably spend a lot of that day packing (and maybe getting my hair dyed if it's ready) and going through checklists like mad. Friday Will is still going to work and sometime that afternoon his parents will be here... so, shit, I should also try to clean up around the main areas of the house this week too. Then as soon as Will is home on Friday, we all head out. Yes we're driving to Florida, overnight. I plan on pillows, iPod, phone, laptop, earplugs for when I can try to awkwardly sleep.

We stop to see family on Saturday. Not sure I've ever met them. We don't check into the hotel at Disney until Sunday so I guess we either keep driving that night or sleep somewhere? No idea, this part of the plan doesn't really bother me all that much. We get there when we get there.

Oh and one of the days? We'll be taking a break from Disney and going to Universal to enjoy some Harry Potter goodness.

So yeah. This week is prep-busy, next week Florida.

I am genuinely excited. I haven't talked about it much because it hasn't felt real until... well, in the last few days. I'm also pre-exhausted, in a sense. Like I want it to be next week but I also want it to be July... July is beautifully devoid of busyness so far (the polar opposite of June) and I'm kind of looking forward to finding ways to enjoy the summer.

Excited. Tired. Nervous. Relaxed. I feel all of these things and none of them.

Also I'm going to TRY to do a comic before Friday and upload it for next week. If I'm lucky I can do two so I don't need to worry about the week after that. Today's felt SO fast and easy and it was weird until I remembered, oh yeah, I've been doing 3934 panels a comic for a while now. One-shots are easier. Right. xD So I'll work at getting in enough jokes. I'd make comics about me going to Disney, but uhhh... kind of already did that... ;)

Okay, back to work. Gonna catch up on as many commissions this week as I can - one less thing to worry about while I ride my scooter all over Florida. :)
shinga: (Default)


Collecting lots of music for the long road trip in eight days. I'll also have Dresden Files audiobooks and I'll text people whenever I get antsy.

Excited and nervous.

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shinga

August 2016

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