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I don't want to need comfort, or reassurances, or validation, or platitudes. I don't want to ever, ever be seen as needy. I don't want anyone to know just how much I care about the things they say to me. I don't want to ever ask some one to calm my fears, I want to rationalize them away all on my own so I can talk to that same some one with a clear head free of nonsensical paranoia and fear. I hate that it's not working.

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