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Had therapy today. It's normally Wednesdays but they rescheduled for this week. Hadn't seen her since the holidays. Realized with some weird amount of shame that I didn't have much to update her on. I've been so apathetic and lethargic lately that it feels like an accomplishment to put some real clothes on and get out of the house. I hate it. So we talked about that, mostly. My desire for stability, routine, control. How to get it back.
It won't be an overnight process. But already I've made a step in the right direction of "fuck this, I'm taking over and we're getting shit done"... fingers crossed that it was the right move and it pans out.
Tomorrow I'm really hoping pain cooperates enough that I can get some cleaning done. I have a deep loathing for the chaos of the house right now. It's disgusting and I can't keep living like this. I'll pop pills and scrub the whole damn house myself if I have to. But I'm sick of living in filth.
It won't be an overnight process. But already I've made a step in the right direction of "fuck this, I'm taking over and we're getting shit done"... fingers crossed that it was the right move and it pans out.
Tomorrow I'm really hoping pain cooperates enough that I can get some cleaning done. I have a deep loathing for the chaos of the house right now. It's disgusting and I can't keep living like this. I'll pop pills and scrub the whole damn house myself if I have to. But I'm sick of living in filth.