(no subject)

I hate needing help. I hate feeling useless. These head demons are made worse today by all the nightmares last night. Every single dream was all about some one I loved (both family members and friends) telling me how awful and terrible I am at particular activities... drawing, singing, roleplaying, helping people, cleaning, etc... just a constant barrage of hate and fail. Woke up in a rather gray mood.

A bit over $500 in the bank, if I include savings... which will almost certainly be drained next week just to get rent taken care of. Stuff like phone bill might have to be late, which I don't like. Hopefully electric bill isn't too bad.

Maybe the demons are right. But no, they aren't... hard to ignore, though. They're awfully loud.

(no subject)

So with the weight gain this last year (less about weight and more about size - my hips/butt got all big and whatnot) is made so better when I put on a skirt that's actually my size. For months now I've been wearing clothes too small and having to fight my clothing every day sure put a damper on my mood and body image - but I just haven't had the money to go shopping for newer clothes. Last night though a friend was giving away some clothes and omg they fit and it's SO SO SO nice to wear something that's right for my body. I look better and feel better in them and yay.