Useless Ramblings

( EDIT: let's put this surprisingly huge picture behind a cut, shall we? )

I've decided that Uterus Shaming should be a thing.

I swear I'm reacting to my period like it's a shy deer. It barely starts, I see a bit of spotting, and I gasp. "Stay still!" I think to myself. "Be really quiet, we don't want to spook it off! Don't even breathe!"

And that, kids, is what it's like to have an irregular and very unreliable schedule.

Spotting, cramping, moodiness, sore boobs, water retention... yeah ovulating has become some kind of fucked up "diet shark week". Ow.

Last night was rough. We went to hang out with my dad and his girlfriend Jen. It was a lovely evening. We sipped on Bloody Marys and talked about lots of things and had some good laughs. It really was a pleasant evening. BUT Jen lives on a second floor apartment. Not a huge deal, I can do stairs. But afterwards we were swinging by our friend Ryan's place so I could borrow his camera for Disneyworld. He's also in a second floor apartment, with two sets of stairs. Ergh. We stayed for a few minutes to chat and I could tell by how hot and shaky I was that the pain was worse than I was registering. We headed home and Will mentioned he had some painkillers I could try.

We get home, and Will can't find the painkillers. Luckily it's semi-late so I'm able to simply pass the fuck out in spite of the pain. I got to sleep fairly easily, even. But around 3:30 my cat decided she was lonely and I ended up wide awake and the pain was a bit overwhelming... along with cramps and hormonal emotional confusion. It wasn't a particularly fun couple of hours. Couldn't get back to sleep until after 5.

Up again at 7:15, alarm set to go off at 7:30. No point in more sleep. Up now, coffee. I'm less emotionally chaotic than I was a few hours ago.

If my uterus-related experience tells me anything, I'll DEFINITELY be bleeding while at Disney, and PROBABLY start either on the road there or reeeeally close to it. This is troubling and annoying but so long as Midol is with me I shall fear no evil. :P

I'm getting nervous. Both Will and I are short on money and we're both stressed about it. MOST of the stuff at Disney is pre-paid for us which is fantastic but there's still stuff we'll need to handle on our own. Knowing his family they'll step up and offer to help if they have the means... and hell I'm used to sucking up my pride and accepting financial help but Will's not as used to it and it might be fairly upsetting. We're hoping there's a check he can cash before we leave on Friday that'll help a lot, so... fingers crossed there.

Today is massage I specifically scheduled to help the stress of this week. Then there's therapy (my last appointment until the second week of July), then hanging out with friends and probably drinking (though I'll try not to get TOO drunk as I have a lot to do tomorrow too)

I'm excited, I'm looking forward to this trip, and I'm also looking forward to being home and July hitting and us being slightly less tense and stressed about money.

One day at a time.