(no subject)

I'm in a straight-up shit mood. Dealt with a small troll which shouldn't bother me at all but I'm hormonal and in a lot of pain and low on patience and a tolerance for this shit. I feel like a shit artist/human being... and I read a story about some one being treated like shit by a military doctor which meant a WAVE of horrible PTRP memories I've been trying to suppress for 6 years. I just want to curl into a little ball and cry. Hide from the world and pretend I don't exist. Apparently it's commonplace to mock some one for PTSD if they didn't get it for any "real" reason, like war. But PTRP was a small war in and of itself and I hate the constant nightmares, the fear... because of that place I'm still terrified of trusting any medical professional. I just assume they'll be abusive fucks who laugh off my every problem, kick me out of their office, and make my every day life a living hell for no good reason.

... So, yeah. Today's fun.