(no subject)

My anxiety is really really REALLY fucking bad today. Tear-the-skin-from-my-own-face bad. I don't know what to do or how to calm myself down but it's a little frightening in the meantime.

This started last night, mood swings kicked in and I found myself feeling awful by bedtime. But I drifted off to sleep briefly and when I woke up again (Will got out of the shower, the noise woke me) I felt fine. I figured that was a good thing and went back to sleep.

Dreams then, however, FULL of anxiety, hatred, sadness, fear, and loneliness. The running theme of the dream being "everything and everyone you love and who you think love you back are all untrustworthy and they will leave you dying in the cold because they found some one better than your sorry ass"... so it's probably no wonder I woke up worse than last night.

I'm trying to steady my mind just enough to get some work done... this won't be an easy day, though.

(no subject)

Can I escape to here for a while?



With Will, of course. Just a week or so should be fine.