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Dec. 7th, 2013 09:58 pmWe got a ton of ice on Thursday night/Friday morning. It's lovely, in its own way. It's a lie though. A beautiful lie. It looks like a perfect snowy day... but there's no snow. Just thick ice threatening everyone on the road or sidewalk or outside.
Friday afternoon Will and Roq left to go play Dystopia Rising. I worried about them driving in this mess but luckily I think it's not icy where they are so it's not like they drove on this the entire way. I expect they're staying warm and having a lovely time.
On one hand, I love having the house to myself sometimes. I've turned up my games, music, TV... I've turned everything off for total silence... I put up the Christmas tree and decorated it... did chores... slept...
But I do miss them both, especially Will. Our bedroom is the coldest in the house - in the summer this is awesome, but right now I've been layering PJs and burrito-ing myself. Will's absence is always felt, but it's especially strong right now when there's not a warm body next to me each night. I like that we have our own interests and hobbies and he has the financial and scheduling freedom to enjoy a hobby like LARPing, but at the SAME time as loving it, I miss him.
I think some people get confused when I talk about this. I think when I express that I miss Will, they think I want him to stay home on those weekends. I don't. It's not weird at all to me to actively WANT Will to enjoy his weekends away and miss him at the same time. I wouldn't want him to sacrifice his time away just so I'll never have a lonely night. I can handle a few nights alone. That's not a problem at all. I know he'd feel the same in my position... like "I miss you but I'm happy that you're where you are right now having fun".
I dunno. I've talked about missing him before to friends who instantly get defensive of me in this weird sort of "he must be a bad boyfriend" way or something. All "how dare he leave you alone"... it's... not a big deal? At all? It's good, even. I like having this time to myself, he loves being out in the woods hitting things with foam swords, it's a win/win. He'll be back. I'm not SAD, or UPSET, I just miss him.
This was NOT was this post was gonna be about, lol.
Back to my original point.
I've been in a lot of pain this week. Cold snaps really get to me, especially as harsh as this one was. Going from almost 80 one day down to 30 the next? The night before the cold front was harsh. I drank to numb the pain. This is ABSOLUTELY against my normal alcohol rules (never drink alone, never drink for negative reasons)... when I expressed my concern over this choice, Will told me it was okay so long as it didn't become a habit. I'm mostly in agreement. It won't be a regular thing, at all. But it was pretty nice... especially since I woke up having won Hangover Roulette so epically I wasn't even thirsty. My liver knew I needed it that night, lol... it stepped up its game.
I put up some Christmas stuff. A lot was broken in the move... but I worked with what was there. We have our short little "Gothmas" tree... :) it's black. When we first moved in together I wasn't so sure about a black tree but it's really grown on me. I've been looking into us getting a taller one now that we're not in an apartment.
It feels weird having done the tree on my own. I'm... strangely excited about Christmas this year though. Even with the cold and pain and being broke as hell, I'm excited. I think it's the new house. I feel... revitalized. It's like NRE with a house :P Every experience in it has a newness to it. But I think Will is less excited... not that he's being Scrooge-y or anything, I'm just the more excited one. He was fine with me decorating while he is away. I hope he likes it when he sees it. I get nervous when I decorate... I expect the same level of control I have in art and that's just unrealistic for a number of reasons. xD
I'm sitting on the couch right now in a dark livingroom with the Christmas tree lit up. It feels nice. I'm catching up on this week's Daily Show... once I finish I might hop into a hot bath before bed. Hot bath in my (NEW) amazing big ol' tub = awesome for pain. Temporary relief, but still relief.
Okay. Typing too much now. Talking in circles a bit. I think I'm starting to feel the cold and alone-ness of the weekend... I start to feel a bit rambly. I was gonna throw a tiny little girls' night at my place tonight with the theme "Disney and booze"... but with the ice on the roads I decided to call it. It just wasn't feasible. Boo. Ah well, I shall reschedule - maybe when Will's gone next month. :)
Friday afternoon Will and Roq left to go play Dystopia Rising. I worried about them driving in this mess but luckily I think it's not icy where they are so it's not like they drove on this the entire way. I expect they're staying warm and having a lovely time.
On one hand, I love having the house to myself sometimes. I've turned up my games, music, TV... I've turned everything off for total silence... I put up the Christmas tree and decorated it... did chores... slept...
But I do miss them both, especially Will. Our bedroom is the coldest in the house - in the summer this is awesome, but right now I've been layering PJs and burrito-ing myself. Will's absence is always felt, but it's especially strong right now when there's not a warm body next to me each night. I like that we have our own interests and hobbies and he has the financial and scheduling freedom to enjoy a hobby like LARPing, but at the SAME time as loving it, I miss him.
I think some people get confused when I talk about this. I think when I express that I miss Will, they think I want him to stay home on those weekends. I don't. It's not weird at all to me to actively WANT Will to enjoy his weekends away and miss him at the same time. I wouldn't want him to sacrifice his time away just so I'll never have a lonely night. I can handle a few nights alone. That's not a problem at all. I know he'd feel the same in my position... like "I miss you but I'm happy that you're where you are right now having fun".
I dunno. I've talked about missing him before to friends who instantly get defensive of me in this weird sort of "he must be a bad boyfriend" way or something. All "how dare he leave you alone"... it's... not a big deal? At all? It's good, even. I like having this time to myself, he loves being out in the woods hitting things with foam swords, it's a win/win. He'll be back. I'm not SAD, or UPSET, I just miss him.
This was NOT was this post was gonna be about, lol.
Back to my original point.
I've been in a lot of pain this week. Cold snaps really get to me, especially as harsh as this one was. Going from almost 80 one day down to 30 the next? The night before the cold front was harsh. I drank to numb the pain. This is ABSOLUTELY against my normal alcohol rules (never drink alone, never drink for negative reasons)... when I expressed my concern over this choice, Will told me it was okay so long as it didn't become a habit. I'm mostly in agreement. It won't be a regular thing, at all. But it was pretty nice... especially since I woke up having won Hangover Roulette so epically I wasn't even thirsty. My liver knew I needed it that night, lol... it stepped up its game.
I put up some Christmas stuff. A lot was broken in the move... but I worked with what was there. We have our short little "Gothmas" tree... :) it's black. When we first moved in together I wasn't so sure about a black tree but it's really grown on me. I've been looking into us getting a taller one now that we're not in an apartment.
It feels weird having done the tree on my own. I'm... strangely excited about Christmas this year though. Even with the cold and pain and being broke as hell, I'm excited. I think it's the new house. I feel... revitalized. It's like NRE with a house :P Every experience in it has a newness to it. But I think Will is less excited... not that he's being Scrooge-y or anything, I'm just the more excited one. He was fine with me decorating while he is away. I hope he likes it when he sees it. I get nervous when I decorate... I expect the same level of control I have in art and that's just unrealistic for a number of reasons. xD
I'm sitting on the couch right now in a dark livingroom with the Christmas tree lit up. It feels nice. I'm catching up on this week's Daily Show... once I finish I might hop into a hot bath before bed. Hot bath in my (NEW) amazing big ol' tub = awesome for pain. Temporary relief, but still relief.
Okay. Typing too much now. Talking in circles a bit. I think I'm starting to feel the cold and alone-ness of the weekend... I start to feel a bit rambly. I was gonna throw a tiny little girls' night at my place tonight with the theme "Disney and booze"... but with the ice on the roads I decided to call it. It just wasn't feasible. Boo. Ah well, I shall reschedule - maybe when Will's gone next month. :)