(no subject)

First things first, VA appointment.

Got there an hour early and they actually got me in early as a result. Did the nurse exam first where she asked me a lot of questions (pain levels, pain location, how does pain effect A/B/C/etc, do you smoke, do you drink, how many drinks, are you depressed, etc)

Exam itself was relatively quick. I do not have diabetes. The only thing I need to work on is triglyceride, everything else is looking better than it was 6 months ago (cholesterol and sodium are both doing much better)... she suggested fish oil and a continued diet improvement and weight loss (both of which she's already very happy about - apparently I'm on the right track) and said for my age the triglyceride levels aren't dangerous but it's better to work on them NOW rather than having this same problem in 10-20 years and risking heart disease.

She also prescribed Tramadol which should be arriving in the mail sometime this week. She wants to hold back on Vicodin for the time being due to my age... which is fine, Tramadol seems to work okay these days (DID NOT work a few years ago, it made things worse... a rare reaction but still happens)

Also apparently the VA offers chiropractic services now? Now... I'm not really eager to use a chiropractor hired by the VA. Especially since they're all the way in south Dallas. But the doc insisted I go in for a consult and that they could hopefully find a non-VA chiropractor locally that they could send me to. THAT would be workable. I could do that. So Monday morning I get an X-Ray in Denton so they can schedule the consult in Dallas. They'll evaluate my needs and figure out a hopeful plan after that.

She also mentioned the VA weight loss program. I told her it wasn't doable because it was in Dallas, and she said they have it set up now where I can do it online. Well, fuck, if I can do it online, hell yeah I'll play along. :P

So... I don't know. Today wielded more good results than bad. I AM glad I don't have diabetes, but... at the same time it's yet another pointless lead. I get so tired of that... like I'm chasing a carrot on a string. So yes... not having diabetes IS CLEARLY A GOOD THING, I don't WANT diabetes... but just... having a diagnosis, something that explains anything, helps. Naming my enemy HELPS. And I have a few names here and there, but... *sighs* I don't know. I sometimes wish it was JUST THE ONE THING. Just one. One thing that explains everything away, that's fixable. Yes apparently I wish this were an episode of House. ;P

*sigh*

Anyway.

Next topic, family.

Everyone left today.

House is quiet.

I'll miss them, of course... but having my routine back, having my space back, is going to be nice.

Now for some leftover curry and some relaxed TV time. I might call USAA in a minute, discuss possibly getting a credit card through them. Fingers crossed. Fingers crossed for so, so many things.

(no subject)

On the health front, by the way... it is so, so easy for me to forget how young I am. With pain levels the way they are... I don't know, it's not that I literally think I'm over 50/60 but it's easy to feel TIRED. It's easy to forget that my body hasn't aged 30 years overnight.

So when I look at the fact that SMALL diet changes suddenly shifted my cholesterol and sodium levels in normal ranges... when I see that I actually have a strong immune system... when I see that I quickly bounce back and recover from some things... I don't know, it's a pleasant wake-up call every time. I AM STILL YOUNG. I am still strong and vibrant. Hell in some ways more so than some people my age because my body has faced more and fought more. It's been through hell and fire and war with itself and come out the other side still able to fight.

I'm still young. I'm not as weak as I constantly convince myself I am. My body is still able to fight and I'm not done yet. My body is strong, I'm still a warrior in a lot of ways. I'm not done yet. Not for a long, long while.

(no subject)