(no subject)

[shinga]

Last night in bed I was overwhelmed by loneliness and sadness. I couldn't stop the tears and my thoughts were negative as hell and loud. I turned on a light and decided to read Harry Potter for a while. Something simple, easy, and already-read-before so I didn't have to focus too hard. After 4am I turned the light off thinking the book had managed to calm my mind enough. Nope. Still cried myself to sleep. The thing that finally calmed me down, silenced my thoughts, and let me sleep? Weirdly enough... my hand on my face. I was tossing and turning and trying to be comfortable and my hand rested up under my chin and it's like my whole body relaxed instantly. My mind's hateful shouting became tired whispers and I was asleep within moments.

Strange... I just hope there's not a repeat of this tonight. I know the source of some of these anxieties keeping me awake (most of it is hormones going a bit weird right now... ovulating, yay ;p) so maybe if I try to work through that crap when I'm awake, my mind will let me sleep when it's time.