(no subject)
Feb. 23rd, 2014 11:52 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
shingaThis weekend has been fucking weird. Where it's been good it's been blissful, when it's been bad it's been heartwrenching (and the bad things all completely out of my control or influence)... but it does mean ending my weekend on an emotionally confused note. I'm looking at the past three days and recounting everything in my head and processing it and realizing how much can happen in such a short amount of time. All of it important, all of it added up and balanced means this weekend was... just... weird. Weird is all I can thing to say. Both good AND bad? That doesn't work. Does it?
I haven't felt this balanced in ages. Where the bad happened the good swooped in and where my mind became blinded by the good the bad kept me grounded. Sunday, five minutes until midnight, and I feel... right. Correct. Sitting perfectly on the line, seeing everything with calm clarity, my emotions reacting properly on either side and neither pulling too hard and I am still.
I know life won't keep that up. Bad days will still be overwhelming, good days will still send me into mindless easily-distracted-from-logic goofiness. But at least now I know what balance truly feels like, and it's something I can at least try to strive for more often. I'll let myself fall to one side or the other when it's necessary, but I want to feel this more.
I haven't felt this balanced in ages. Where the bad happened the good swooped in and where my mind became blinded by the good the bad kept me grounded. Sunday, five minutes until midnight, and I feel... right. Correct. Sitting perfectly on the line, seeing everything with calm clarity, my emotions reacting properly on either side and neither pulling too hard and I am still.
I know life won't keep that up. Bad days will still be overwhelming, good days will still send me into mindless easily-distracted-from-logic goofiness. But at least now I know what balance truly feels like, and it's something I can at least try to strive for more often. I'll let myself fall to one side or the other when it's necessary, but I want to feel this more.
