How can I not smell your lie through the smoke and arrogance?

[shinga]

Trying to figure out how much of my discomfort/anxiety right now is... okay, "valid" isn't the word. Relevant, perhaps? Urgent, currently necessary? Basically I'm trying to pinpoint how much of this is stuff from the past creeping up on my mind and how much of it is just worrying about future bullshit "maybe"s, and the actual relevant stuff... ie, the present. Things that actually ARE happening. Stuff that's not me dwelling on nightmares from years ago, stuff that's not me making up the worst case scenarios for later. Stuff I can actually do something about, take action. It's not that I'll shove all the past stuff down and ignore it... that just means I'm not dealing with it and growing. But there's a massive difference in facing/learning from the past and dwelling on it and letting it control me. And the future stuff? Pretty much all of that can fuck right off. I can be prepared for the worst without expecting it and fearing it, I can keep consequences in mind without being too afraid of them to take action. Balance. All about balance.