(no subject)

I have this feeling I've royally fucked something up. I have this feeling I've accidentally pushed people away entirely. That I'm not measuring up to some weird invisible standard and that I haven't for a long time - if ever. I don't like these feelings. I don't like feeling scared to be around my friends because I'm suddenly frightened of what they "truly" think of me. Feeling like I should crawl into a hole and hide away from people forever. So damned afraid to get close to anyone because all I'm going to do is disappoint or upset them and I'll hate myself for it.

It's all stupid. Irrational. No one is perfect and anyone who would expect that of me wouldn't be a real friend.

But... hormones. Emotions are running hot right now and I'm taking so many things so damn negatively. I hope to be over this by tomorrow night, as I do want to and should see friends. I'm just afraid right now.

(no subject)

I need to look into something to sooth hormonal moods. I used to drink some tea ages ago that kind of helped but hell that was over 10 years and ago and a. it may not still work and b. fuck if I remember what it was called. My monthly moods USED TO BE WORSE THAN THIS, yes. Birth control helped them a bit and anti-depressants do too. Now I'm only super-moody for about a day or two rather than two straight weeks.

Awake too early for when I went to sleep. I'll have to nap later but for now I just couldn't sleep. Not sure why but, meh, won't fight it. :)

I gave Diana catnip last night and she's still looking for it.

(no subject)

Hey Will, honey, this is for you. :D

(no subject)

( meme cause why not )