(no subject)

[shinga]

I have this feeling I've royally fucked something up. I have this feeling I've accidentally pushed people away entirely. That I'm not measuring up to some weird invisible standard and that I haven't for a long time - if ever. I don't like these feelings. I don't like feeling scared to be around my friends because I'm suddenly frightened of what they "truly" think of me. Feeling like I should crawl into a hole and hide away from people forever. So damned afraid to get close to anyone because all I'm going to do is disappoint or upset them and I'll hate myself for it.

It's all stupid. Irrational. No one is perfect and anyone who would expect that of me wouldn't be a real friend.

But... hormones. Emotions are running hot right now and I'm taking so many things so damn negatively. I hope to be over this by tomorrow night, as I do want to and should see friends. I'm just afraid right now.

Comments

The "after party regret" as I call it

[disgruntledgirl]

I remember talking to Mel about it and then found out my husband has it. Lately I've been getting it when I leave work:
The uneasy sense that I have socially erred, upset people and I have no way of knowing how or who. And that it's all going to blow up in my face.

You're not alone but damned if I can even hint at advice on how to handle it.
(hugs!)

[purfeclyflawed]

You are not alone <3 I know that feeling on an almost daily basis.. Just glad to see it is not just me. Hugs.. If you ever need to talk, I may not always know what to say, but I am a great listener...