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Jun. 28th, 2011 12:18 pmI woke up in a poor mood. I think it was mostly just being jolted from sleep by Will's snoring. I love him but I was describing the noises in my sleep-drunk mind as "Texas chainsaw massacre" and "an angry duck being punched repeatedly in the taint".
Being awake and in a poor mood and unable to sleep leads the mind to unpleasant places. I thought about my body and how much I hate it, thought about how afraid I am for Thursday's VA appointment, how angry and scared I am that my paperwork with the VA has yet to go through, how I'm worried about money, how much pain I'm in and I only foresee it getting worse in the future.
I eventually got back to sleep. Once I woke up for good I went to pay the bills I'd gotten in the mail yesterday.
On the bright side, Denton's site is no longer charging a fee for paying online. So that's, like, 5 bucks saved.
On the dark side, I am financially fucked. I just paid 50something to electric bill, 80something to phone, that hasn't gone through the bank yet and my balance STILL isn't good enough to handle rent this week.
I don't know what to do.
And I want to track down every anonymous bitch that claims I'm just "lazy" because I haven't been doing art/comics since the computer died. Yeah, lazy. That's it. I do so hate earning enough money to live by. I really do prefer it when I can't even afford ramen. That's me! The poor life is how I roll, man. I would rather sit around on my ass stressing and crying than draw and earn enough to pay my way in life. That's so way too mainstream or whatever.
Fucking hell. I hate this. I'm trying to direct most my anger at the VA and the fact that it's been months with no word. Hell they even stopped sending the "we're working on it!" letters which stresses me out even more.
Being awake and in a poor mood and unable to sleep leads the mind to unpleasant places. I thought about my body and how much I hate it, thought about how afraid I am for Thursday's VA appointment, how angry and scared I am that my paperwork with the VA has yet to go through, how I'm worried about money, how much pain I'm in and I only foresee it getting worse in the future.
I eventually got back to sleep. Once I woke up for good I went to pay the bills I'd gotten in the mail yesterday.
On the bright side, Denton's site is no longer charging a fee for paying online. So that's, like, 5 bucks saved.
On the dark side, I am financially fucked. I just paid 50something to electric bill, 80something to phone, that hasn't gone through the bank yet and my balance STILL isn't good enough to handle rent this week.
I don't know what to do.
And I want to track down every anonymous bitch that claims I'm just "lazy" because I haven't been doing art/comics since the computer died. Yeah, lazy. That's it. I do so hate earning enough money to live by. I really do prefer it when I can't even afford ramen. That's me! The poor life is how I roll, man. I would rather sit around on my ass stressing and crying than draw and earn enough to pay my way in life. That's so way too mainstream or whatever.
Fucking hell. I hate this. I'm trying to direct most my anger at the VA and the fact that it's been months with no word. Hell they even stopped sending the "we're working on it!" letters which stresses me out even more.
