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Sep. 7th, 2013 03:29 pmI’m in pain almost 24/7. Art is a wonderful way for me to express what’s going on in my head, stuff my body can no longer say as easily. Sometimes art hurts too, though. My hands and wrists are among the things that get hurt or sore easily when the weather decides to attack.
Sometimes I wonder if the art is worth it. Sometimes I have no pride in what I do. “It’s just dumb comics and some gargoyles sometimes”, I think when I feel really low about myself and bitter. “What’s the point? I could stop now and it wouldn’t matter.”
And then there’s… a comment. An e-mail. A message. Sometimes anonymous, sometimes not. A person, a total stranger, tells me that I’ve done something huge. That one comic managed to give them the first smile they’d had in weeks. That it turned them around. That one drawing touched them deeply and encouraged them in ways I could have never expected.
These comments aren’t a daily thing or anything… somewhat rare, even. But it’s clear they’re heartfelt. And good god I might go a year between getting a message like this and it can fuel me for months on end.
To know that to ME sometimes my art might be useless, stupid, silly, pointless, talentless and without heart… but it isn’t. That isn’t true. I’m actually reaching people in ways I sometimes don’t even intend.
And it’s worth it. I hope I’m still doing art until the day I die. And I hope even after that I’ll still have that kind of impact… not necessarily to a HUGE group of people, not necessarily fame or anything… just knowing I touched the heart and soul of one stranger a year is enough. That’s what I want. That’s what matters.
Sometimes I wonder if the art is worth it. Sometimes I have no pride in what I do. “It’s just dumb comics and some gargoyles sometimes”, I think when I feel really low about myself and bitter. “What’s the point? I could stop now and it wouldn’t matter.”
And then there’s… a comment. An e-mail. A message. Sometimes anonymous, sometimes not. A person, a total stranger, tells me that I’ve done something huge. That one comic managed to give them the first smile they’d had in weeks. That it turned them around. That one drawing touched them deeply and encouraged them in ways I could have never expected.
These comments aren’t a daily thing or anything… somewhat rare, even. But it’s clear they’re heartfelt. And good god I might go a year between getting a message like this and it can fuel me for months on end.
To know that to ME sometimes my art might be useless, stupid, silly, pointless, talentless and without heart… but it isn’t. That isn’t true. I’m actually reaching people in ways I sometimes don’t even intend.
And it’s worth it. I hope I’m still doing art until the day I die. And I hope even after that I’ll still have that kind of impact… not necessarily to a HUGE group of people, not necessarily fame or anything… just knowing I touched the heart and soul of one stranger a year is enough. That’s what I want. That’s what matters.