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Apr. 15th, 2014 11:35 amIf I could go back in time 10 years to tell my younger self almost anything about my life right now... she wouldn't believe me. Everything is so vastly different. She wouldn't believe the Army thing, the disability, the religion, the polyamory, the bisexuality (well okay she'd believe that), Head Trip... there's just so much I could tell her that would blow her mind.
But I wouldn't. If I were given the option, I'd keep things vague. Give some advice here and there maybe, but still vague.
But so much that's awesome about my life is awesome in part because of how unexpected it was. I never planned on so much of this, and yet here I am. A lot of really shitty things had to happen to get me here and if I told myself what had to happen... well... she wouldn't do it, and I wouldn't blame her. Who wants to hear "yeah you have to join the Army and get physically fucked up for life before some really cool shit happens, sorry about the PTSD btw"? I'd just... not join. And trust me, looking back? If I hadn't have joined... life would be a LOT different, and I think worse.
But that's hard to explain to some one. That so many scarring things are on their way, but how much amazing things follow it. I wouldn't have met the same people if these things never happened. I never would have been exposed to things that have changed my life for the better. I'd be a different person, so different... weaker in some ways. I'm sure I would have faced plenty of shit - hell I know I would have.
But the outcome, the good that came from it, might have been different. And I'd never take the chance that it would be better than this.
But I wouldn't. If I were given the option, I'd keep things vague. Give some advice here and there maybe, but still vague.
But so much that's awesome about my life is awesome in part because of how unexpected it was. I never planned on so much of this, and yet here I am. A lot of really shitty things had to happen to get me here and if I told myself what had to happen... well... she wouldn't do it, and I wouldn't blame her. Who wants to hear "yeah you have to join the Army and get physically fucked up for life before some really cool shit happens, sorry about the PTSD btw"? I'd just... not join. And trust me, looking back? If I hadn't have joined... life would be a LOT different, and I think worse.
But that's hard to explain to some one. That so many scarring things are on their way, but how much amazing things follow it. I wouldn't have met the same people if these things never happened. I never would have been exposed to things that have changed my life for the better. I'd be a different person, so different... weaker in some ways. I'm sure I would have faced plenty of shit - hell I know I would have.
But the outcome, the good that came from it, might have been different. And I'd never take the chance that it would be better than this.
