(no subject)
Oct. 28th, 2010 01:52 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
shingaThese anxiety issues are fucking strong these last two months. I'm excited for the trip but also a bit nervous about being around so many people. Especially in a rather vulnerable position of being in the 'chair, but... hopefully I'll be okay.
I think the anxiety stems, at least about 90% of it, from the upcoming VA dealings. I'm terrified and it means some rather horrible memories being stirred up and discussed and scrutinized. I'm not looking forward to it. When I'm in crowds without a focus I panic. When I'm going to bed, no matter how exhausted, my mind becomes chaos and I can't fall asleep. The slightest think offsetting my mood turns into a complete emotional disaster.
I miss feeling at ease. Or at least, more at ease than this. This is absolutely ridiculous. I feel tense constantly. I'm wondering if my pulled muscle isn't related somehow. I know I was asleep when I did it, but hell even my dreams are ridden with anxiety.
Don't go in to talk to this psychologist until mid-November. But I can call sooner if I just need to talk for a bit. I might end up doing that if things are still bad in a couple of weeks. I might even go in and see if they can't put me on something for anxiety. I don't like that option but at this point I'm about ready to do anything to get rid of this.
In other much happier news, quickest. comic. EVER.
And last but not least, I dislike tequila.
The end.
I think the anxiety stems, at least about 90% of it, from the upcoming VA dealings. I'm terrified and it means some rather horrible memories being stirred up and discussed and scrutinized. I'm not looking forward to it. When I'm in crowds without a focus I panic. When I'm going to bed, no matter how exhausted, my mind becomes chaos and I can't fall asleep. The slightest think offsetting my mood turns into a complete emotional disaster.
I miss feeling at ease. Or at least, more at ease than this. This is absolutely ridiculous. I feel tense constantly. I'm wondering if my pulled muscle isn't related somehow. I know I was asleep when I did it, but hell even my dreams are ridden with anxiety.
Don't go in to talk to this psychologist until mid-November. But I can call sooner if I just need to talk for a bit. I might end up doing that if things are still bad in a couple of weeks. I might even go in and see if they can't put me on something for anxiety. I don't like that option but at this point I'm about ready to do anything to get rid of this.
In other much happier news, quickest. comic. EVER.
And last but not least, I dislike tequila.
The end.
no subject
Date: 2010-10-28 06:12 pm (UTC)