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Nov. 19th, 2013 10:39 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
shingaSome one asked me: "So this is a completely random question and I totally understand if you don't wanna answer it; but what if tomorrow you woke up and everything that was wrong with you was gone? Like your body remained exactly the same as it is now, except every chronic illness, every bit of pain, was completely gone? What would you do?"
I answered: "I think about this a lot. Honestly I’d probably… just assume it was a “good day” and a fluke. It’d take a couple of days for me to wonder what was going on. I’d try to get in and see doctors to see if things had actually been fixed or if something just “switched” around in my brain to make me feel less pain.
As much as I’d like to not be in pain all the time, to not have all the illness and limited mobility and all that stuff… waking up and having it all gone in a second would really fuck with my head. My disability is not ME, it’s not my identity, but to say it’s not a big part of it would be a lie. “Losing” that wouldn’t be a LOSS per se, but it WOULD be a massive adjustment and it wouldn’t be easy.
But as soon as I realized it was real, that my body really WAS fixed?
I’d go out dancing. First thing."
I answered: "I think about this a lot. Honestly I’d probably… just assume it was a “good day” and a fluke. It’d take a couple of days for me to wonder what was going on. I’d try to get in and see doctors to see if things had actually been fixed or if something just “switched” around in my brain to make me feel less pain.
As much as I’d like to not be in pain all the time, to not have all the illness and limited mobility and all that stuff… waking up and having it all gone in a second would really fuck with my head. My disability is not ME, it’s not my identity, but to say it’s not a big part of it would be a lie. “Losing” that wouldn’t be a LOSS per se, but it WOULD be a massive adjustment and it wouldn’t be easy.
But as soon as I realized it was real, that my body really WAS fixed?
I’d go out dancing. First thing."
no subject
Date: 2013-11-20 05:10 am (UTC)I will dance with you again.
no subject
Date: 2013-11-20 02:43 pm (UTC)