"Dominated by all you hated..."
Apr. 22nd, 2014 12:14 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
shinga
Yup.
When people tell you to "be the bigger person", it CAN just mean "walk away from this, you don't need to put yourself through hell to make sure the other person gets what they deserve"... and that's good, because yes, sometimes it's not worth it. Sometimes it's just better to "be the bigger person" by walking the fuck away. Get away from the abusive person, get them out of your life. If that counts as being the "better" person, so be it. But ultimately it should be about what you need, not about your perceived moral "win".
But otherwise?
Don't put up with their shit. Don't look down and bite your tongue and just take the abuse. If some one is treating you badly, don't put up with that shit. If it means walking away, if it means leaving, if it means telling them the fuck off, DO IT. Don't tell yourself you shouldn't fight just because you want to maintain a higher moral ground and that it's "stooping to their level". They've already lost by treating you this way... fighting that does not make you "just as bad", that's BULLSHIT. They might hate you afterwards, they might convince others that you were wrong for doing it, they might try to turn your loved ones against you by convincing them that you're the enemy, but do it anyway.
Don't let yourself be abused just because you want to be the "better" person. Instead start looking at what "better" actually means... it's not easy, you might feel like the bad guy... but let yourself feel like a villain if all "villain" means is that you dared to stand up for yourself.
Like I said in that earlier post about talking to our younger selves
Date: 2014-04-22 08:27 pm (UTC)In all seriousness, we're raised to believe that anything to do with ourselves is therefore selfish.
We have feelings and saying they are stupid, unwarranted, crazy or unjustified does not make them go away. It does not change the fact (not opinion) that we are feeling them.
To allow someone to dismiss your feelings is to allow them reign over your perception of reality.
Irony alert
Date: 2014-04-22 08:30 pm (UTC)I do dismiss some of his physical pain because there's only so many times I can say "Aww, you didn't duck your head getting out of the car - again." or "Aw you punched the ceiling fan putting on your jacket - again" and sincerely mean it.
Dude's got bone spurs in his neck, I save my pity and sympathy for when those flare up.