(no subject)
Jul. 14th, 2014 09:36 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
shingaI think the whole "holy shit my hair is fixed and beautiful" thing is actually really finally hitting me on an emotional level. Like I'm getting randomly happy-weepy about it this morning. I don't really know WHY? Maybe it's because I got kind of emotionally raw/strung out last night so I'm just kind of more open to feelings and such right now.
Maybe this entire week I've just been hurting too much to really FEEL much of anything outside of trying to survive the pain. Now that painkillers are working I'm suddenly able to feel things I've been putting on the back burner. Hell that'd also explain last night... nothing of note exactly triggered that mood but suddenly I was sobbing out of massive insecurities I've not been weepy about in months.
Pain does strange, strange things. On one hand too much of it tears down emotional walls and suddenly you don't have the energy to avoid those problems. On the other hand the pain is taking all of your focus so you might feel emotional and weepy but don't have the mental capacity to figure out WHY because, hey, the pain is SO FUCKING LOUD.
This was supposed to be about my hair and now I'm talking about chronic pain and its emotional fuckery.
Yipes.
It's been an interesting 12 hours or so.
Maybe this entire week I've just been hurting too much to really FEEL much of anything outside of trying to survive the pain. Now that painkillers are working I'm suddenly able to feel things I've been putting on the back burner. Hell that'd also explain last night... nothing of note exactly triggered that mood but suddenly I was sobbing out of massive insecurities I've not been weepy about in months.
Pain does strange, strange things. On one hand too much of it tears down emotional walls and suddenly you don't have the energy to avoid those problems. On the other hand the pain is taking all of your focus so you might feel emotional and weepy but don't have the mental capacity to figure out WHY because, hey, the pain is SO FUCKING LOUD.
This was supposed to be about my hair and now I'm talking about chronic pain and its emotional fuckery.
Yipes.
It's been an interesting 12 hours or so.
no subject
Date: 2014-07-14 05:32 pm (UTC)Boo to pain stuff. *scowls menacingly at pain*