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Jul. 14th, 2014 12:31 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
shinga"There is no sense in punishing your future for the mistakes of your past. Forgive yourself, grow from it, and then let it go."
Hard to find a balance there, apparently. I see plenty of people roll their eyes and gripe that they shouldn't be held accountable for their past because, hey, it's in the past. But that only works if you paid attention to the "grow from it" part... because it's not all that "in the past" if you're still making the same mistakes and hurting those around you in the same ways.
Yes if you've grown and changed and become a better person and some one is STILL bringing up shit you did ten years ago, call them out on that BS and tell them it's high time to let it go... or (because as I've ranted about before no one is owed forgiveness) tell them it's probably time to get out of each other's lives if they can't move on from who you used to be.
But don't sit there and shrug everything in the past off until you've actually grown and learned from it. You keep ignoring who you used to be and the lessons to be learned, you'll never become anything more.
And on the flip side, if you OVER-focus on things you fucked up on in the past (I do this sometimes) you'll become so consumed by it that, hey, same result... you can't grow and learn and be happy. So yeah. Acknowledge the mistakes, learn from them, but don't dwell on them to the point of useless self-punishment and stagnation.
Yay balance.
Hard to find a balance there, apparently. I see plenty of people roll their eyes and gripe that they shouldn't be held accountable for their past because, hey, it's in the past. But that only works if you paid attention to the "grow from it" part... because it's not all that "in the past" if you're still making the same mistakes and hurting those around you in the same ways.
Yes if you've grown and changed and become a better person and some one is STILL bringing up shit you did ten years ago, call them out on that BS and tell them it's high time to let it go... or (because as I've ranted about before no one is owed forgiveness) tell them it's probably time to get out of each other's lives if they can't move on from who you used to be.
But don't sit there and shrug everything in the past off until you've actually grown and learned from it. You keep ignoring who you used to be and the lessons to be learned, you'll never become anything more.
And on the flip side, if you OVER-focus on things you fucked up on in the past (I do this sometimes) you'll become so consumed by it that, hey, same result... you can't grow and learn and be happy. So yeah. Acknowledge the mistakes, learn from them, but don't dwell on them to the point of useless self-punishment and stagnation.
Yay balance.