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Jan. 25th, 2011 11:05 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
shingaConsidering shutting myself away from people for a while. Everyone. Just hole myself up in my house and not come out. It's been brought to my attention that I've grown weak. That I don't rely on myself enough, and rely too much on others. That I should be stronger. That I throw my problems, whether it be my disability or the shit going on, in people's faces.
So fuck it. Fuck being around people if that's what's making me weak and pathetic. Apparently the best way for me to live is as alone as possible so I can be strong.
So I'll stop crying in front of friends and loved ones. I'll stop talking about what's going on with me or my family. Because if I can't shoulder it on my own, everyone is going to grow sick of me and pull away.
Guess that's something that happens when you spend most of your life being ~the strong one~... when you're weak, you're just disgusting.
So fuck it. Fuck being around people if that's what's making me weak and pathetic. Apparently the best way for me to live is as alone as possible so I can be strong.
So I'll stop crying in front of friends and loved ones. I'll stop talking about what's going on with me or my family. Because if I can't shoulder it on my own, everyone is going to grow sick of me and pull away.
Guess that's something that happens when you spend most of your life being ~the strong one~... when you're weak, you're just disgusting.